Shallow
by UltimateSorceress
Summary: He was a clever, conniving,scheming bastard and hiding something beneath that shallow exterior...Cloud is determined to find out what...if only things could be that simple
1. Denial

_**Chapter One---Denial**_

My name is Axel Highwind.

I guess you could say I'm your average, everyday,ordinary teenager. I hate waking up early, I hate going to school and I hate being at home. Nothing too out of the ordinary about that, considering I'm 17. Seventeen year old boys hate everything. And if they say they don't they're lying.

My life for the past 17 years has been the same. Eat, sleep, go to school ,get in trouble and find a way to bail myself out of it. Rinse and Repeat. Of course, I usually get in to trouble because of some hair-brained schemed that would have worked (if not for Demyx) and I usually get out of trouble by lieing through my teeth. Not recommended but effective, if you must know. I'm a great liar, just ask Riku. I taught him to lie too. I can't say I'm proud of that fact but he's damn pro thanks to me.

Moving on...

They say everything changes. I didn't believe them, whoever 'them' is. It's was probably the biggest lie I've ever heard (and I've heard some big ones). Nothing changes. It stayes the same. And if it does change by some miracle of God or some other spiritual being, it was always for the worse. Experience has taught me this well enough to know that if something changes, you'd better duck for cover because the shit is going to hit the fan.

You're probably wondering what in the hell all this has to do with anything. I'll tell you soon enough. I'll make you understand. But first you have to know...you have to know everything. Without the lies. And if there's one thing I hate more then changes, it's telling the truth.

I have two parents, a mom and a stepdad. Cid and Aiden Highwind. Cid used to be a pilot and mom's a nurse. I have a half-sister named Namine and honestly, I love that girl more then anybody in the world. I don't know what would have happened to me without her around. Tell her I said that and I'll kill you in your sleep.

When I'm not at school or at home, I'm working. Now as I've mentioned, I hate school and I've got to say working sucks, but it beats being at home. So I take whatever they give me and try to make the best of it. It's not exactly the most glamorous job or one I'd broadcast around town that I have (my own parents don't even know I have this particular job). I work at a night club called Nocturne. I have a boss that truly hates everyone and everything around him but he's fair guy, which is more then I could have hoped for in that hellhole.

Riku and Demyx are my best friends. My only friends. And while I'm an arrogant, scheming, lieing son of a bitch, even I can't stand to be alone so Riku and Demyx know everything about me. Even the stuff I wish I didn't know. But they like me anyways, so I guess I'm a _lucky_ arrogant, scheming, bastard.

So there you have it. I'm a self-serving, cocky yet still fabulous looking asshole that's hates everything, lies a lot and only has two friends. I told you I was normal. I have one question for you though; _How much is my body worth?_

My name is Axel Highwind and I'm a callboy.

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A.n: Totally not how I'd intended to start this story but I like it none the less. It seems a little shakey but it'll get better. let me know what you think by pressing that lovely button in the cornor!!!!

Ulti!!!!


	2. Walk Alone

_**Chapter Two---Walk Alone**_

Axel was once again late and in such a rush to leave the house he didn't notice things he normally would have noticed, being the intelligent observant creature he was apt to be on occassion, should he so feel the need. Today was one of the days he did _not _feel the need, seeing as that once again, he would be late for work and Zexion would threaten to kill him. His neigbours were one of those things he'd failed to notice in his rush. That and the fact that they were still moving in boxes and would be in his hurried way.

It had been three days since the new neighbours had moved in. Axel thought it was strange considering it was just the three boys and no parents. But then, he thought, if he could have moved out and just lived with Namine he would do it. So maybe it wasn't all that strange. Not that he ever saw the neighbours a whole lot to begin with. He was too busy working.

Today however, was different. In his mad dash to his bike, Axel slammed into a remarkably hard object and crashed to the ground. He sat there dazed for a moment before glaring up at the blonde man who had the audacity to violate his god-like personal space in such a violent manner.

"Watch where the fuck I'm going...shit..." The man simply yanked Axel to his feet. None to gently either. Emerald eyes glowered at the taller blonde even though the man had to be at _least _three times his size.

"You ran into me..." Axel stared into sapphire eyes with disdain and disbelief. As if _he _would be that clumsy...

"Yea sure I did...you're like a building with feet! Kinda hard to miss. Now, would you mind unhanding me, you over sized steroid add? You're sucking away my good looks and charm here..." He was dropped uncerimoniously and he dusted himself off, giving the blonde a dirty look as he strode away.

"Hey, was that the neighbour kid?" The brunette asked his brother. Cloud nodded silently.

"Loud little shit ain't he?" Cloud nodded again, slightly annoyed by his twins lack of intelligent vocabulary.

"But he was right... You are a building with feet." Zack had the foresight to run as quickly as his legs would carry him down the steps and out of the blonde's crushing grip.

* * *

"You're late Axel!!!!" Axel cringed as Zexion bellowed at him while he began tossing his things into his locker. Axel pulled out his change of attire and ran to the bathroom to get ready, noting with a scowl that Zexion followed.

"I know you hate this job but you have to be on time." Axel sighed before flashing his boss a devilishly handsome smile. Tight, fade blue jeans were shimmied up slender hips and a tank top slipped over massive red locks.

"But you also know that someone as undeniably as fantastic as myself should only arrive in an undeniably fantastic hurry. Which I do. And you allow me to be an _insy_ bit late here and there because I'm gorgeous and I bring in customers." Zexion sighed and ruffled the kid's hair, smiling ever so slightly.

"Touche smartass, touche. Now get that ' undeniably fantastic' ass of yours on stage so you can earn that ridiculous paycheck I give you." Axel chuckled, knowing full well his boss was right; he did have a great paycheck and Zexion made sure that Axel was treated fairly in this hoity-toity, over classed, over priced sex shop.

"Zexion!!!! Where's that damn 'backup worker' you promised me?!" Xemnas, the regular bartender, looked absolutely ready to murder someone. Axel made a mental note not to piss him off tonight, something he'd made a game of over the past year; he liked to call it Axel's How Far Can You Push Xemnas and NOT Die? game. It was risky but Axel was a gambling man.

"I don't know, I can't magically zap him here, Xemnas. Axel you've got five minutes." Axel took one last glance at the mirror, shoving aside the sick feeling he got, and smirked. Damn he was a looker!!! Oh yes, God had undoubtly broken the mold with Axel Highwind. At least that's what Axel told himself...and everyone else for that matter.

"There you are!!! You're late. I sincerely hope you do not intend on making that a habit. I get enough of that from Axel...Xemnas is in a foul mood, so this is your warning. He's behind the bar..." Zexion inspected the blonde before him with a critical scowl on his face. He would do very nicely here. If he chose to be on time. Zexion hated it when people were late.

"AXEL IF YOU'RE NOT ON THAT ST---"

"Yea yea, you're gonna kill me. I'm going I'm going!!!" Axel ran past the two without even noticing the blonde. It wasn't one of his best days.

"Axel works here?" Zexion turned to Cloud and nodded, sighing heavily. Cloud's stoic face shifted into a glare.

"How old is he?" Zexion raised a brow at the demanding tone the blonde had suddenly taken with him and stood to his full height, returning the glare.

"Old enough, you've got work to do." With that, Zexion ended the discussion, wondering where Cloud have ever met Axel. He was too good looking to be a friend of Axel's. Axel did like anyone who could compete with his looks, save Riku who outshined him on every level. Riku was quite possibly the only person Axel _actually_ respected, for whatever depraved reason he had.

A heavy techno rock beat burst into Zexion's thought and he smiled just barely. Axel was finally on stage and the regulars were cheering, already a bit too boozed up and loaded with more cash then could possibly be needed, even at Nocturne.

Zexion felt a pang of guilt when his eyes fell on the dancing teen and then to Cloud's accusing sapphire orbs, but he and Axel both knew this was his only chance.

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A.n: so tell me what you think!!!!! REVIEW!!!1 I luvvies reviews!

Ulti!


	3. Breathe Into Me

_**Chapter Three---Breathe Into Me**_

_I'm here to finally take the truth  
Out of the shadows, I couldn't  
Care less about you or anyone  
At all..._

Axel tried not to focus on the leering faces in the crowd-- if he didn't look, they didn't exsist. If only, if only...Axel knew each and everyone of them fully exsisted, in the worst ways and for the higest prices. It helped if he didn't look at any of them because the less he remembered, the better he slept.

_I swear to god you never met someone so shallow, I go out of my way to leave you feeling small..._

Slim hips dipped and swayed in all the seductive and inticing ways Axel had learned; all the ways that got him paid. It made him sick inside, to know that this was all he was, but it was all he had. It was the only way out, so he kept dancing, kept them longing for more with each twist and turn, each lusty gaze.

_I see that you're in pain,  
I'm thinking that's the point...  
I'm here to let you down, I'm here to disappoint.._

_I don't care about you...I don't care about you..._

Axel loved the energy he felt when he was on stage, loved the rush of the music through his brain and his body as he lost himself in the beat, in the lights and heat. Especially this song, it left him feeling somewhat cleansed, it felt kind of like forgivness washing over him. Even though both God and Axel knew he could never be forgiven.

_I'll keep you hooked I'll open up to you when it suits me  
I'll have my fill and then I'll have you throw your life away  
I'll stop and smile and pout when you see me with someone else  
You'll lose it all but you still think about me everyday_

Cheers and groping hands increased but Axel ignored them, except for the ones that held money in their grimey, dirty hands. Those he'd toss a teasing smile and a taunting touch before he moved on, collecting folds of cash as he sauntered his way through the crowd. His body was molested as he did so, each getting a feel for just how much he was worth and _if_ he was worth it. But in Nocturne, everyone knew Number 7 was more then worth it.

As his song ended, he saw a rather attractive man chatting with Zexion, who tossed him glances every now and again, as if he really wanted to refuse the mans offer. Zexion really did _try _to keep Axel out of the business, but sometimes, they paid too much to say no. And Axel never said no if the price was right.

_I'll make you cry yourself to sleep but you'll still want me  
I'll waste your time I'll waste your life just wait and see  
I'll destroy your everything, in the end you'll still want me  
I'll put your soul in so much pain you wouldn't believe_

Axel got back onto the stage, running long hands over a lithe body, taunting the crowd one last time before the music ended and he was handed off to Mr. Pays-a-Lot for the night. Though if there was one thing Axel was thankful for, it was the fact that all of Zexion's 'services' were in house only. Axel never had to leave the safety of Nocturne for his tricks. And the rooms were monitored 24/7 but only Axel knew that, much to his own shame.

_I don't care about you...You think that I feel love, I think you're in denial..._

"Axel...this is Vincent Valentine. See to it that he is taken care of." The raven haired man was just a bit tipsy, strangely stoic and reserved, but Axel knew how to warm them up. He sidled up to the man, earning a rather surprised glance, and licked his neck. A barely audible groan was loosed as large hands gripped his hips and pulled him closer. Axel giggled and pulled away.

"Not yet lover, come on, let's go..." The whisper that left Axel's lips and brushed the man's ear were sultry ad promising, not at all how Axel wanted them to be. But the man pulled him close and Axel continued to pretend he was excited while they passed the bar.

He thought about asking Xemnas for a drink and when he looked up, it was not Xemnas he locked eyes with but the blonde neighbour from earlier. Shame flashed through him as his cheeks colored and he looked away quickly. Away from the concern and condemnation in those sapphire depths. What did _he_ know about Axel anyways?

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A.n: woo!!! thanks to those who've added this story to their alerts and favs, it means a lot!!!! Hope you're enjoying it! Review!!!

Ulti!


	4. Steel

_**Chapter Four---Steel**_

The room Axel lead Vincent into was dimly lit and inviting. The kind of room Axel would have very much enjoyed had he not been in there to get paid. But that didn't matter now. All he had to do was give this guys his fix and be done with it. He sat back nonchalantly on the bed, gazing at the man before him with pools of liquid jade.

"So..." The man removed his jacket, stumbled forward slightly and pressed his lips to Axel's, surprisingly warm and gentle. A cascade of raven locks tumbled over a pale shoulder and blocked Axel's view of the room, forcing him to look at the man above him. He hated looking at them, even if this one was a damn good kisser. Broad hands were buried in Axel's own ruby tendrils as the kiss was deepened and his smaller body pulled closer.

"Reno..." The man whispered, moving his lips to Axel's neck, earning a small moan. Who the fuck was Reno? Axel removed his shirt and reached for the man's belt. A searing kiss was granted the teen before the man's crimson gaze locked with his own.

"...You're not Reno...but you look...too much..." The man pulled away, burying his head into his hands, looking for all the world like some old dead guys famous painting, what with his creamy skin, long black hair and shattered countenance.

"No, I'm not Reno...but I can help you forget..." Axel licked the man's ear tauntingly, sliding warm hands down the broad chest. There was no way Vincent was getting away without paying. The man turned to look at him once more, eyes sad and dissolute.

"...You're to young for suh things. I need to find Reno. You wouldn't happen to know him, would you?" Axel shook his head, reaching for his shirt and pulled it over his head.

" He looks just like you..." The voice was soft, comforting even. Axel snorted.

"No one looks as good as I do buddy. No one fucks as good as I do either." Vincent chuckled.

"You're just as cocky too. You should meet him." Axel glowered.

"Yea, yea threesomes cost double." At this Vincent was quiet.

"That's not what I meant. You shouldn't be here." He replied at last, letting Axel know he knew full well he was underage now that the alcohol had faded.

"Well I am all the same, get over it. Now go find this Reno-clone of mine, make nice and stop bothering me." Axel gave him a slight half-smile to let him know that he was kidding. Kind of.

"Here, call me sometime. We can meet Reno for coffee. I have a feeling you two should meet." Axel rolled his eyes and exited the room, Vincent close behind.

"No freebies on my off time either." A sigh was heard as the door shut.

"Hang on to that, Seven." With that, Vincent disappeared, slipping an ungodly amount of cash into Axel's hand along with his phone number. Axel stared into the empty space Vincent had just moments ago occupied with a sense of thankfulness and annoyance. Damn creep, being all nice...

"That was quick, even for you." Zexion commented casually. Axel took hundred out of the wad and handed it to Zexion.

"Yea, he sobered up real quick and didn't want anything. Gave me a shitload of cash though. Like **hell** he's getting it back." Zexion tried to refuse the money.

"He already paid me." Axel shoved the green at him anyways.

"Just take it, fuckwad. Consider it a thank you, seeing as I'll never actually say it to your face." Zexion smirked and tucked the bills away for later.

"Cloud, get the kid a drink." Axel froze. Cloud. Shit. This was bad. As soon as Zexion was out of sight, Axel was at the counter, leaning very far forward, grabbing at Cloud's shirt.

"What the hell are you doing here, Poster Boy?!" Cloud glared at Axel before removing the hand from his person.

"Working. What are you doing here? You can't be more then 16." Axel tumbled over the edge of the bar as his grip on Cloud's solid body was loosed. He rubbed his butt angrily, looking up at the snickering blonde.

"Working you twit. And I'm 17, thanks. And I'd love it if you never mentioned this to anyone." Cloud handed the boy a beer, scowl still in place as Axel sighed, running long fingers through his hair.

"You're parents let you do this?" Axel choked on his drink and turned wide eyes to Cloud.

"No and you _can't tell them_." Cloud opened his mouth to reply before Axel shoved him backwards.

"Do you understand me? _You can't say anything_, least of all to them." Cloud noticed the look in Axel's jade eyes was far from anger. Instead, the glow in those orbs was fear. Undiluted fear.

"Why?"

"Because I _said,_ dumb ass." Axel tried to remove himself from the conversation and Cloud's presence but Cloud pulled him back.

"That's not a reason." A scoff was heard before Cloud was left looking at the retreating redhead's attractive backside. Zexion appeared beside him.

"Good job Cloud." Cloud raised a brow at his boss.

"You've been here for two hours and he already hates you more then he hates working here." Cloud stared at him.

"He's got his reasons Cloud. And I'm not innocent but I _am _trying to help him. Don't make my job any more difficult. He's **this close** to getting out of here and one slip-up to bring it all down." Zexion was so utterly and completely serious that Cloud couldn't even reply before the man disappeared as quickly and quietly as he'd come.

What the hell was going on here?

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A.n: wooot!!!! Thanks for all the Fav's and alerts!!! And to my one lonely reviewer!!! It makes it worth writing!!! enjoi!!!!

Ulti!!!


	5. Misery Loves Company

_A.N:_ **Hello my lovely readers! Its been a while and I'm soo sorry but my updates will be a bit further apart then any of us would like because I just had a baby!!! Yay me! Anyways, I won't be able to update as often because I'm taking care of him and going to school but I WILL continue to update! So keep reviewing!**

**Ulti!**

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**_Chapter Five---Misery Loves Company_**

It was nearly four am when Axel pulled up the driveway. If there were one thing in life to be thankful for it would be the fact that as long as he didn't skip school and he kept his grades up, his parents let him stay out as long as he wanted. Cid liked him better gone anyways.

Axel was taking off his helmet when Cloud walked up, arms crossed and looking for all the world like an angry parent. Green orbs clashed with blue as Axel glared at him and made to walk around the taller blonde. Cloud stepped in his way, forcing Axel to acknowledge him.

"What the fuck do you want?" Axel hissed. If his parents woke up...He glanced nervously at the door.

"Why are you working there?" The redhead visibly tensed, straightened and clenched his jaw. Touchy subject, if Cloud ever saw one.

"Good money. Why are you working there?"

"I need a job." Axel laughed.

"Good, then we're even. Now if you'll excuse me.."

"You have to quit. You shouldn't be there." Axel stopped in his tracks and turned around very slowly. So slowly, it made Cloud very nervous.

"I **what**? Who the hell do you think you are?! You don't know me, Cloud or Rainbow or whatever damn hippie name you have! You don't know _anything _so don't pretend like you care. Just _stay out of it_ alright? I can handle myself." Axel turned back towards his house abruptly, leaving Cloud standing in the middle of the sidewalk.

It was dark as Axel entered his house and he took every posible care to be quiet. He'd learned a long time ago not to make any noise when he came home. However, tonight was different. The room felt electric...like if he touched anything he would get shocked. His body tingled with an uneasy feeling and when he turned to go into the kitchen, he figured out why.

* * *

Cloud had turned to go inside when he heard a hollow, solid thump. Like someone dropped a body or something. He paused, frowning but when silence ensued, he continued on into his side of the house. Zack was asleep and Sora was playing video games. Cloud smiled, watching his brother smash the clockwork out of the little bad guys on the screen and went to his bedroom. 

Just as he was about to sit down, he heard it again. That sick thump sound. He pressed his ear to the wall, knowing full well he shouldn't be evesdropping on the neighbours. A long silence followed before that sick thump resounded against the wall he was pressed against, startling him backwards. A soft cry was heard before a crack sounded against the wall.

Then all was quiet.

* * *

Axel awoke with a splitting headache. The light burned his eyes and made his head throb even more then it was. He grimaced a bit before standing and heading to the bathroom to brush his teeth. The image in the mirror was dishelved and dirty. Sighing, Axel looked away and dug through his closet to find something to wear. Success was finally granted him in the form of a clean shirt. All his pants were in the wash so he didn't bother to change them. A blonde appeared in his doorway. 

"Will you take me to school Axel?" The girl's pretty blue eyes were large and sad. Axel smiled in an effort to cheer her up and nodded.

"Of course I will Nami. Are you ready?" Namine nodded quickly and the two exited the house before anyone awoke. Relief washed over Axel as he climbed on to his bike, Namine's slim arms wrapping aroundhis waist and hugging him tightly.

It was going to be a long day.

-----

"Jesus Axel, what happened to you?" Riku's voice was little more then a hiss as he pulled his shorter friend to the side of the hallway. Axel's jaw was a sick purple color and Riku had a sneaking suspicison it was the only mark the redhead was sporting.

"I had a kinky one last night, no big." Riku's scowl made Axel wince. He knew better then to lie to Riku.

"Cut the shit Axel. **What happened?**" Axel hesistated. Riku grabbed his arm and squeezed, earning a yelp from the teen.

"I **knew** it. I knew it! That bastard! What happened this time?"

"Our new neighbour came by the house looking for me after work. Woke him up from his nap. I _told_ Cloud to stay out of it. He works at Nocturne, Xemnas' new bar keep. I _**told**_ him...he just couldn't leave it alone!" Axel slammed his fist into the wall as a spikey haired brunette hurried by.

"He really laid into you this time..." Riku ushered Axel out of the school doors and out by the lunch tables so they could talk.

"Yea...I haven't seen him that angry since the first time...you know...that..." Axel shook his head, the horrible images filling his head after keeping them locked up for so long.

"I know man, I know...but...at least he didn't do that again. Its almost over Axel...6 months and you're home free!" Axel tried to smile but his busted lip made the effort more then he cared to make. Riku stood, folding his arms over his chest, a scowl in place. The one he learned from his brother Leon.

"I'm coming by work tonight. Cloud and I are going to have a chat." Axel smiled in spite of his lip this time.

Cloud was in _deep_ shit.

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A.n: Yay!!! Review!!! Thanks to all for your wonderful reviews and fav adds!!!!! 


	6. Love, Lust Hoax

_**Chapter Six---Love, Lust Hoax**_

Riku entered Nocturne with a scowl. Axel was sure it was safe to say that Cloud would _not_ be having a pleasant conversation with the younger teen. Axel left Riku to his own devices as he left to get ready. Zexion was waiting for him at his locker.

"You're early."

"I know, miracles _do_ happen, you atheist prick." Zexion laughed along with the redhead before he fully noticed the redheads' face.

"..What...again?" Fury lit Zexions violet orbs as Axel nodded.

"Thank your new barkeep." If Zexion's pursed lips were any indicator, Cloud was about to have a _very _bad night.

"Look, you've got two clients tonight. I tried saying no, Axel, I really did." Axel sighed, nodding. Zexion at least tried, which was more then he could say for many of the other people in his life. Closing the locker, Axel headed for the stage when he was side-swiped by a certain brunette.

"..What are _you_ doing here?" He hissed, trying to make sure no one saw the boy.

"Me? What about you?! Where's Cloud? What did he do to you? Cloud's _never_ hurt anyone one!" The pleading look in his brunette neighbours eyes told Axel the boy believed Cloud was the one who had assaulted him. Axel sighed and shoved the younger boy to the bar.

"Cloud didn't do anything, now stay _there_ and don't move. This is not the place you should have come." Axel dashed for the stage, the crowd erupting into cheers as he began his dance, collecting money as he went.

"Sora?! What are you doing here?!" Cloud hissed over the bar. His brother flinched.

"I overheard Axel talking about you...and I thought...his face..and you..." Sora looked at his hands as Cloud's shoulders dropped.

"What about his face? What are you talking about? I didn't have anything to do with-" Sora was about to reply when the silver-haired boy from Sora's school approached.

"You _did_ have something to do with it." Aquamarine eyes smoldered with rage and Cloud glared right back.

"I didn't do a damn thing--" Riku cut him off, grabbing his shirt collar.

"Like hell you didn't! It's _your _fault this happened. If you had left things alone like he TOLD you too, it never would have happened!" Riku doubted the truth in that last statement but Cloud needn't know that.

"What are you...I didn't..."

"Yes you did! You went looking for him, you kept pushing the issue. You have no idea what you're messing with Cloud. He's so close and you're jepordizing that!" Riku let the blonde go, chest heaving and fists shaking. Cloud was about to respond when Zexion showed up.

"You fucking idiot! We told you to leave well enough alone but you had to go and screw things up!!! You're fucking lucky a busted face is _all_ that happend to Axel. I swear to God if you _ever_ intereferre again, I'll kill you myself." Sora was looking between Zexion and Riku with wide sapphire eyes.

"What's going on?" Cloud asked softly. Neither of the men in front of him answered.

"Hey Zex, where are...oh." Axel looked sheepish as he approached, realizing there was a...conversation taking place. Cloud stared at him. Axel shifted nervously under his cerulean gaze before snapping,

"I know I'm gorgeous but don't stare, that costs extra." Cloud's features softened and he took a step twards Axel, who, out of instinct, took a step quickly back.

"Axel--"

"Mr. Prelude?" Axel turned, facing Vincent Valentine and a red-headed comrade.

"You again? I thought I told you to stop bugging me?" Vincent simply guided the boy from the group and into one of the back rooms.

"...I...did..." Cloud didn't look at the others still in the group. Zexion's eyes narrowed.

"Yes, Cloud. YOU did that."

* * *

"So why do you need me if you made nice with loverboy over here?" Axel snapped, looking between the two. Vincent sighed.

"Reno, Axel. I told you I thought you should meet but I'm begining to have my doubts." Axel snorted and glared at the redhead who did, in fact, look remarkably similar.

"I told you he wasn't as good looking as me." Reno scoffed at the younger boy.

"You're right, I'm better looking." Vincent looked between the two with a raised brow.

"Not even in your dreams Twiny."

"Enough, both of you. Despite my friends' immaturity, "Reno blanched at this but Vincent continued.

"He's quite a bit older then you, Axel. And though I may have been intereferring, I took the liberty of ascertaining your mothers age when she had you." Axel scowled, he could have told Vincent himself.

"And as it turns out, she did name a father on your birth certificate." Axel's head snapped up, disbelief in his jade orbs. His mother had never told him _that_ little detail.

"As much as you may refuse to belive it, it turns out Reno is your father."

It was then Axel knew God hated him.

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an: weeee smallish update review! thanks to all who Fav'd this!!!! enjoi!!!!!

Ulti


	7. Forsaken

_**Chapter Seven---Forsaken**_

_**This chapter is for ImmortalFisheh! Thank you so much for your AWESOME review!**_

Axel stared at the two men before him. First Vincent, then Reno. He scrunched up his nose and narrowed jade eyes at the supposed creator of his amazing self, trying to see (as if he could mystically peer through the mans skin and find a sign on a strand of DNA stating "Father of Axel" somewhere) if he truly could be this man's son. Reno stared back, his own nose scrunching in turn.

"You got all you're good looks from me, you little leech." Yep, he was Axel's father alright.

"What? I _beg_ to differ _old man._ I'm naturally amazing, thanks very much. Besides, contributing some chromosomes doesn't really make you my father." Reno shrugged his shoulders.

"Father, sperm donor same thing."

"If you're my father, how come you've never been around? Why did you leave mom? Especially with _him_." Reno looked at him confusedly before replying.

"I didn't _know_ about you. Aiden never told me. If she had, I would have stayed. Even **I'm** not that much of a prick. And hell, I would have taken you if she hadn't wanted you." Axel looked dubious.

"Look kid, you can believe me or not but you're still my son." Axel slumped down on the bed and held his head in his hands.

This, changed everything.

* * *

Cloud didn't met the gaze of Zexion or Riku. He didn't know what to say. He...he hadn't meant for this to happen...he just didn't want Axel to be in this place. That thought caught Cloud unaware. _Why_ didn't he want Axel in this place? Before he could deliberate on it further, Sora spoke.

"What happened to him?" Zexion snapped his gaze over to the brunette, who flinched under the harshness of violet orbs.

"His stepfather, that's what happened to him." Sora's sapphire eyes were wide in disbelief.

"But, why?" Riku glared at the younger boy's naivete.

"Because he _can_. And because he knows Axel won't do a damn thing about it." Cloud looked up at this.

"Why? Why doesn't he go to the police? Why doesn't he fight back?" At this, Riku actually began to laugh.

"Because his stepfather IS a cop. Came straight of the Navy and entered the police force. He's such a 'do-gooder' no one would believe Axel, juvenile deliquent that his is. And Axel doesn't fight back because as long as Cid is beating on him, it isn't his mother or Namine." Cloud frowned.

"Whose Namine?"

"His half sister. Axel tried fighting back once and Cid taught him a lesson he'll never forget."

* * *

"Look kid, I'm sorry this whole thing has just been dropped on your lap but this changes my life too." Axel looked up with blazing peridot orbs.

"What the hell do you know? This REALLY doesn't affect you. Sure, you have a kid you didn't know about for _eighteen years_, but who cares? I'm not your responsiblity. I'm turning 18 in six months and then I'm home free. Don't pretend like you care, we both know you don't. I'm this close to getting out of this shit hole, so go back to where ever it is you came from and stay there with Senoir Creepy over here." Vincent scowled only slightly.

"You are mistaken. The minute I told Reno my suspicions, he _demanded_ I find out for certain. I've never seen him so worked up. And over a selfish brat like you no less." Axel shot to his feet so quickly even Vincent was startled.

"Selfish?_ Selfish?!_ The _only _reason I'm here, turning tricks for a living, is to get my sister out of that house. She's the only reason I haven't gone crazy and she's the reason my step father beats me until I can't even walk." Reno looked at him hard, touching his shoulder gently.

"He _what_?" Axel realized his mistake too late. No one was supposed to know. Because if people knew, they tried to help. And if they tried to help, they'd just get him in deeper shit.

"He** beats** you? Is that what happened to your face?" Axel turned away, nodding.

"Why haven't you gone to the police?" Vincent asked, casting a worried look to the suddenyl quiet Reno.

"He's ON the police force. No one would believe me and he'd just work me over even more after it died down. But if he's beating me, that means he's not beating mom or Nami. I can't see that again."

"I'm going to get you out of there Axel." Reno said softly, staring at the carpet. Axel turned to him quickly, shanking his head.

"No! You have to stay out of this! If he finds out about you, he'll throw me out and Namine's all by herself and so is mom...I can't leave them. You have to stay out of this..." Reno looked pleadingly between Vincent and his son, only to realize that he had no choice. Axel was right. He had no part in this.

* * *

Namine walked in the house and shut the door quietly, praying to any God that would listen she did not disturb her father.

As she slowly made her way up the stairs, she would soon find out no one was listening.

* * *

A.n: Woot! Another chappie!! Yay for Ulti!!!! Review and tell me what you think my lovelies!!!!

Ulti-


	8. Hear Me Now

_**Chapter Eight---Hear Me Now**_

**_For Elli_**

Namine stared at her reflection for a long time as her tub filled with hot water. It made her stomach churn to see herself, made her want to throw up again but there was nothing left. Touching her cheek, she winced and turned away from the mirror. Agonizing over what had happened would do her no good; it wasn't as if the past could be changed. A soft sigh was granted the small bathroom before she turned off the water and slipped in, clenching her fists as the scalding water met her pale skin. She did this every time he…well, it was her purifier. The scalding water washed away the sins he committed upon her. Or, at least that's what she told herself.

Steam filled the bathroom and coated the blonde in sweat as she vigorously scrubbed at her skin until it shone red in the dim lights. There's was a knock at the door and her blood froze in her veins as she looked at the white door, its small size suddenly looming before Namine. Swallowing hard, she tried to make her voice work.

"Y-yes?" Holding her breath as she waited for an answer, Namine dreaded who was on the other side.

"Nami? Where's mom?" Axel's voice was tight and worried. Something had happened and Namine found she didn't want to know.

"I don't know. Dad left." The silence greeted her.

"What are you doing?" Namine thought about this for a moment. She could lie, tell her older brother she was washing her face or painting her nails. But, deep down, she knew it would be pointless; as soon as she exited the bathroom, he would know.

"…Taking a bath." Faint curses could be heard before Axel hit the wall. The sound of fabric scratching preceded the hollow thump of Axel's head hitting the wall.

"I'm sorry. I…I had something to take care of work…" Nami stopped scrubbing at her skin and drained the tub, turning on the shower. She knew Axel would wait for her.

Ten minutes later, Namine left the bathroom to find Axel still sitting against the wall, holding his head in his hands, shoulder shaking gently. Namine kneeled beside him and held him awkwardly about the shoulders, her cheek on his head.

"I'm sorry…I should have been here…I should have been here." Namine pulled the red head to his feet and glared up at him with brilliant sky blue orbs.

"Don't you go blaming yourself, Axel. You know it wouldn't have made any difference." Axel held the short girl close, sighing heavily. He still felt responsible. Brushing his hand on her cheek, she winced and Axel's face contorted with sorrow once again. Her pale skin was decorated with black and blue bruises that would no doubt turn a ghastly shade of purple quite quickly

"But I should have been here. I would have. It should have been me…" Axel held her tightly, wishing with every bone in his body it had been him. It had been on more than one occasion and he'd gladly take Namine's place. She didn't deserve for Cid to do things like that to her.

" Come with me to work tonight. You'll be safe there. I won't have to worry about you and you can get some sleep." Namine stared at Axel. Sure, she knew what he did and why but he'd always done everything he could to keep her away from his work. He was willing to show her just how far he'd fallen just to keep her safe and Namine had never respected some one more.

"Alright, but can I watch you dance?" Axel's cheeks flushed as red as his hair as Namine giggled.

"Sure, you can watch me dance. Stick with Zexion or Cloud and you'll be just fine." Blue eyes sparkled at her older brother and she hugged him. Everything was going to be alright.

* * *

"Ax—Nami! Axel why is she here---what happened to your face?" Zexion examined the bruises on the girls face closely and Namine watched him as he closed his eyes and sighed heavily. Ushering her behind the counter, he got her a Shirley Temple, the blonde's favorite drink. Giggling merrily, Namine sat the bar with her drink and watched the rather intoxicated guests of Nocturne.

"I had to Zexion…I couldn't leave her home…I should have been there when it happened…it should have been me." Zexion placed a hand on the teen's shoulder with a look of regret in his violet eyes.

"I'll get her a room to sleep in."

"Thanks Zex." Axel turned from the man and headed to the bar only to be stopped by Riku and Fujin.

"Riku, what are you doing here?"

"We came to see the show man. Ok not really but we saw you and Nami headed here so we came to see what's up." Riku's arm hung lazily around his girlfriend as she smiled softly to Axel and Namine.

"I…I thought it would be better if she came with me, that's all." Riku narrowed his eyes at his best friend, releasing Fujin's shoulders as she went to talk with Namine.

"What happened?" Axel sighed, running long fingers through his hair, turning away from Riku's penetrating stare.

"I came home and she was taking a bath…I should have been there Riku! I got help up talking to Reno and Vincent and I was late. It should have been me." Riku looked at Axel for a long time.

"For the past 8 _years_ it's been you. It _never_ should have happened at all, but you always take it. Neither of you should be in that house, or _here_ for that matter. Look, if you want, Fujin will invite Namine over to spend the weekend at her house. Your mom and Cid like her parents so it should be all well and good." Axel cast his emerald gaze to the laughing blonde and smirking Fujin and nodded.

"That would be good, thanks man." Riku gave him wicked grin and smacked his backside as he walked away, causing the red head to give him an incredulous stare.

"Go make that money!" Axel laughed and head up on stage while the crowd whooped and hollered around him, waving cash in their dirty hands

* * *

A.n: yay! This chapter is for my dear Elli!! Be on the lookout for out up and coming cowrite! Its bomb, trust me. Review!

Ulti


	9. Shadows Can See

_**Chapter Nine---Shadows Can See**_

Axel exited the stage only to be high-fived by Riku and waved over by Zexion. Axel got the distinct feeling that he had a customer but Zexion rubbed the bridge of his nose and sighed heavily.

"You need to go talk to Cloud." Zexion's voice was tired and even worse, it was completely serious. Axel couldn't argue with the man. Cursing under his b, Axel went to room Seven. That was _his _room. Cloud sat on the bed, staring at his hands and looking very solemn. Well, more so than usual seeing as the blonde was a very serious person.

"What do you want?" Axel snapped, shutting and locking the door, leaning against the heavy structure. Cloud didn't look up at the redhead, only sighed heavily and rubbed his face.

"…I'm sorry." Cloud said softly. Axel watched the blonde for a while, unsure as to why exactly the man was apologizing. It wasn't _really_ his fault Cid was a dick. And it wasn't as if he could change what had happened, so what was the point in feeling bad about it? Axel cursed mentally. Cloud _felt _responsible, just like Axel _felt_ responsible for what happened to Namine. Guilt ate at the pale teen as he moved slowly to sit down beside Cloud.

"It's…look, don't worry about it. Prolly would have happened anyways. It's no big." Axel shrugged before Cloud finally lifted his head to look at him with smoldering sapphire depths.

"Of course it's a big deal, look at your face! It may not be entirely my fault but I'm still responsible, Axel."

Axel couldn't, no matter how much he wanted too, look away from those eyes. They were drowning him in guilt and he couldn't take it but he couldn't tear his gaze away from the blonde. The blonde who was so close too him and was looking at him so intently. The one who was getting closer with every second.

Axel's breath caught in his throat as Cloud's amazingly soft lips captured his almost shyly, just resting against Axel's as if he were afraid Axel would freak out. Instead Axel closed his eyes and let Cloud kiss him, unsure of why either of them was actually doing this or what it meant or anything. He simply sat there, granting the blonde access to his mouth and let himself be kissed senseless. And when Cloud's broad hand cupped the back of his head to deepen the embrace it dawned on Axel that this was the first kiss he actually wanted.

* * *

Zexion groaned as Vincent and Reno entered the club. Surely Axel had told them to buzz off and not come back. Right?

"What are you doing here?" Zexion snapped, eyeing the two hatefully.

"I'm looking for my son. Where is he?"

"Busy." Rage flashed across Reno's face as Zexion said this, obviously assuming that Axel was working.

"He's not working so calm down, he's only busy. I thought he told you to leave him alone?"

"He did and I am but I want him to be able to get a hold of me. Just give him this ok? Both our numbers are in there. Tell him to call if he needs anything, ok? Please?" Reno looked so hopeless that Zexion conceded with a sigh, promising to give the teen the phone when he could. As the two left, Zexion briefly wondered just what in the bloody hell was taking Axel so long to tell Cloud to go to hell.

Little did he know.

* * *

A.n: buwahhaha short update. Thanks to all for reviewing, fav'ing and reading!

Ulti!


	10. Passion

_**Chapter Ten--Passion**_

The room faded back into focus when Cloud pulled his lips back from Axel's. His stolen breath came back as he tried to focus his cobalt eyes on Axel's flushed face. Axel slowly opened his eyes and gave Cloud a barely there smile, rising too his feet. Cloud followed the motion, Axel's lithe frame towering over his sitting one. A hand was drug through his blonde hair and a wink thrown his way as Axel walked out the door.

"…What the hell?" Cloud muttered to the empty room.

* * *

On the outside, Axel was strutting around Bloodless like his usual cocky, arrogant self. On the inside however, he was freaking out. Why had Cloud kissed him? This would screw up everything!!…Wouldn't it?

Sighing, Axel changed his clothes, getting ready to perform. He didn't need any distractions right now. He and Nami were so close…but… Axel bit his lip in frustration, remembering the gentle way Cloud had kissed him. Would it really be so bad to have the blonde in his life? Did the blonde even want that or was he just feeling sorry for Axel??

A snarl left his lips as he prepared to get on stage, a heady rhythm filling his head. He didn't notice Zexion look out into the crowd. He didn't notice Zexion's violet eyes widen in shock and he didn't notice Zexion try to stop him from getting on stage.

What he did notice however was that when he was out on stage, for everyone to see his bare torso and tight jeans as he swayed to the music, was his father in the audience.

* * *

Cid smirked as Axel's green eyes widened in shock and he almost stopped dancing. He especially enjoyed how Axel's terrified orbs never left his. Did Axel really think he could keep his little night job a secret? Especially a job as delicious as this. Cid smirked at the boy, letting him know that tonight would be a night to remember. He had plans for his little fuck toy and what plans they were.

* * *

Zexion paced the bar frantically. Axel had a customer and he had a sinking feeling that when he opened the door to room 7, he would find Cid there. He hadn't booked Cid but Cid was a clever bastard and once Axel was paid for, he couldn't go back on the deal. This was bad. This was so fucking bad. He noticed Cloud take his place behind the bar, looking slightly dazed and unfocused.

"Cloud. What did you and Axel talk about?" Zexion applauded himself on his flawless delivery but inside he was panicking. Axel would be in the room now and Zexion didn't see Cid anywhere.

"We…didn't exactly talk." Cloud didn't see any point in pretending what happened didn't happen. Zexion raised a brow.

"I'm not sure what happened after I kissed him…he just left." Cloud shrugged as Zexion paused and looked at the blonde.

"He kissed you?"

"No, I kissed him." Sighing, Zexion pinched the bridge of his nose; same damn thing.

"He _let_ you kiss him then? He didn't punch you or call you any vulgar names?" Zexion felt a spark of hope when the blonde shook his head and he pushed the blonde towards the rooms.

"This is good, go talk to him. He had to fill in for someone today but he's in room 7." Cloud tried vaguely protesting but he thought back to how good Axel's lips had felt and he stopped fighting.

* * *

Axel whimpered softly as Cid crawled on top of him, kissing his neck like he would a lover. Cid smirked against his skin, enjoying the way the boy trembled. Yes, this would hurt. Yes, he would bleed for Cid, scream for Cid. And yes, Cid was going to enjoy every tear, scream and drop of blood.

" This job suits you Axel. I'm sure everyone likes your body as much as I do." Cid's tone was malicious as he bit Axel's collarbone roughly, his broad hands sliding on Axel's body and down to his shaft, squeezing hard enough to make Axel buck his hips with a low cry.

"I bet you like it, don't you? Being fucked by strangers... You're such trash. But you're a good fuck so your not completely worthless." Cid's lips covered his own, tasting of booze and cigarettes as he forced his tongue into Axel's mouth. Axel tried to think of anything but what was happening, anything but what Cid was doing to him but only two things would play through his mind;

_This is happening again…he's right, your trash…Cloud...he won't want you after this…it's happening again…this isn't happening, it's not happening again!…Cloud…_

Axel screamed when Cid thrust into him without warning, jerking him off harshly, his heavy groans and whispered words burning into Axel's mind as he lay there tied and helpless. Cid seemed to fill him to the point where he wanted to break apart, was _sure_ he'd break apart but he didn't. He just laid there with tears streaming down his face and blood staining the bed as Cid continued to sink into him over and over again.

" Axel…you're s-so tight…you're a slut b-but your so tight…" Cid groaned again, releasing deep inside of Axel's shaking body. Axel didn't move, didn't say anything back and that angered Cid. He squeezed the half-hard member in his hand and kept squeezing until Axel screamed in pain, jerked his hips up and into Cid's hand. Cid smiled sadistically and kept up his cruel motions, wringing loud cries from Axel's pretty lips before he reached up with his other hand and slapped the boy hard across the face.

"Did I say you could make noise? No…I don't think I did…" The slapping continued, over and over until the slaps turned to punches, Cid's left hand still gripping and pumping Axel's shaft. Neither of them noticed the door open. Neither of them noticed Cloud's stunned expression as he witnessed the things that Axel had been keeping secret for 8 long years.

" Come on Axel, you do this every night. You beg and moan for strangers, you cum for men you don't even know…you filthy little bitch…" When Axel didn't respond he followed the peridot gaze to Cloud's motionless form, his smirk growing.

"Little boyfriend of yours Axel?"

Axel turned away from Cloud's smoldering gaze, ashamed that Cloud had seen him like this. Cloud's eyes darkened, focusing on Cid as he continued to abuse the boy on the bed. Before he knew it, his hands were wrapped around Cid's neck and the man was slammed against the wall.

Time faded away and all Cloud was aware of was his fist crashing into Cid's face again and again.

* * *

A.n: weeeee update!! Zomg, its been so crazy, I'm sorry my lovelies! I will be updating much sooner now because school's almost over! Hoorah! Review!!

Ulti!


	11. A Perfectly Good Heart

_**For Elli-san**_

_**Chapter Eleven--A Perfectly Good Heart**_

Zexion wasn't sure how long he watched Cloud slam a broad fist into Cid Highwind's face. It may have been hours but he continued to stand and watch as the blood sprayed everywhere, continued to watch as Cid struggled to be free of Cloud's iron grip. He stopped watching when Axel's broken voice cried out for Cloud to stop.

"Cloud! Cloud stop, please! Please stop…" Tears streamed down the red-head's face and his body shook from the sobs. Zexion rushed forward and pulled the tall blonde away from Cid, forcing Cloud to meet his eyes and breathe.

"I know Cloud, I know. But you can't do this…it won't help-LOOK AT ME." Zexion nearly screamed at the raging blonde, violet orbs bright as they clashed with angry blue.

"It won't fix it Cloud! It won't help. Sit down and breathe. Sit." It was a threat. Cloud, even in his frantic state could hear the threat in the man's deep voice.

Zexion forced the blonde to the floor before turning with sad eyes to Axel's still shaking form. The red head had no snappy retorts, no dirty looks and no will to look at his friend. Zexion could see the pale face of his friend was already swelling and there were deep lacerations in the skinny wrists from the razor wire Cid used to tie him to the bed; no doubt to keep him still.

Gently the wires were unwrapped from wrists and ankles and Axel turned away from Zexion's gaze, rolled onto his side and cried. Every sob that forced its way past Axel's lips broken Zexion's heart and tears began to fall down his own face. Zexion held his head in his hands, wondering what in the world he should do; what he should say when Cloud, very slowly, stood and made his way to the bed.

"Axel?" Cloud's voice was remarkably tired and heavy. Axel, however, only responded by burying his head into the sheets, sobbing harder. It was all over. Cid had won, hadn't he? He'd taken every last shred of decency Axel had fought so hard to hold onto, tore it all up and threw it away. Axel was so very broken now and he was sure there was no way to put him back together again.

"Axel…please look at me…please…" Cloud dropped to his knees in front of Axel, taking the pale, bleeding hands into his larger ones, kissing the knuckles as tears dropped onto them. Zexion watched the scene, trying not to breathe least he disturb them.

"Please look at me…"

"No…I can't Cloud…please don't…"Axel's words were muffled by the sheets but Cloud heard them well enough and he couldn't stand to see the redhead so shattered. He had no right to feel this way about the gorgeous teen, no right at all. Axel was strong and fierce and so goddamn beautiful. He was everything Cloud wanted and was never supposed to get. He deserved better than Cloud. A few weeks of sparse interaction and a kiss were not enough to grant Cloud the privilege of loving Axel.

"Why?"The question was answered with silence before Axel sat up with red, angry eyes.

"Why?! Did you not see what he did to me?! Didn't you see? How can you want to look at me after that? How?!" Axel hit the bed angrily, tears refusing to stop streaming down his face as he gave Cloud every reason not to love him; Begged him not too.

"That's what's been going on! That's why I wanted you to stay away from me! He's been doing _that_ for _8 years _Cloud! How can you look at me knowing _this _is all I am? All I can _ever_ be? I can't even look at myself in the mirror, let alone you. He's right Cloud! He's right! I'm trash…that's all I am…it's all I am…" Axel buried his face into his hands and cried, his already broken heart splintering as Cloud stood.

Axel had expect Cloud to leave; to shut the door and never look back. Instead, he was scooped up in Cloud's strong arms and cradled like a child as he cried all the tears he'd never let go of. His arms went around Cloud's neck and held onto him like he was the only that kept him from disappearing completely. Soft kisses were left in Axel's hair, on his temple and tears were brushed away by Cloud's thumbs as Axel's head was lifted up to meet Cloud's tear-stained gaze as the blonde spoke.

"You still have a perfectly good heart."

What no one would notice was that Cid was gone.

* * *

A.n: yay for sappy love! I promised Elli-san a sappy chapter to pwn all sappy chapters. I hoped that was a start. its was more angsty than anything but the sap shall reign soon!! bwuauahaha. oh and lots of drama,violence and schemx on the way

Ulti!


	12. Break Me

**_

* * *

_**

**_Chapter Twelve--Break Me_**

Cid paced his home. Anger coursed through him, making the bones in his face ache more. He'd gotten a piece of that little shit he called a step son and he would have the rest of him. The little bitch woul take everything Cid had in store for him and then some. And when Cid was finished...well.

Sinking into his chair, Cid waited for Aiden to come home. She would be late he knew, she always worked late. Axel would not be home to save her this time. Smiling to himself, Cid waited.

* * *

Riku waited with Axel in room 7. Cloud and Zexion had taken Namine to Fujin's and to gather some clothes for the red head. He wasn't going home tonight. For one night, he was safe and Namine was safe. Riku could rest a little easier knowing that in the morning when he woke up, Axel would still be there; a little worse for wear but Axel would be _alive._That was the important thing.

"Ax?" The words were soft, as if the silveret were afraid to startle the red head staring blankly at the wall.

"Yea Ri?"

" You want somethin' to eat?"

Vaguely, Axel pondered this. He hadn't eaten anything all day and yet he very thought of food made him want to vomit. Hell, he wanted to throw up anyways. Standing the red head limped to the bathroom and turned on the shower. Despite his aching wrists, ankles and ...other parts, Axel turned the water on as hot as it would go, finally unerstanding why Namine did this. He felt clean...as clean as he could get when the memories wouldn't stop playing inside his head. Sinking to the floor, Axel began to cry again, burying his bruised face in his hands as every bad memory came flooding back to him in a tidal wave.

_Axel was seven the first time he saw Cid hit his mother. He stood there, at the entrance to the kitchen watching the way Cid's fist met Aiden's petite little body over and over and over again. Aiden saw him then and the fear in her eyes told him to go back to his room and not saw anything. Somehow, Axel understood that message and slowly made his way back to bed, wondering why his mother had to suffer alone._

_When Axel turned 10 he decided to fight back.Of course his small fists were no match against Cid's experienced hands and before he knew it, he was in Cid's bedroom, his pants down and the door lock as his mother screamed at Cid to open the door. Cid only lauged as he took the only innocence Axel ever had, laughing at the redhead boy while he screamed and begged for him to stop. It was then Axel understood why his mother always sent him back to sleep._

_It was Namine's 13th birthday. Aiden had bought her a pretty white dress with a blue satin sash. Namine loved that dress and spun around like a ballerina, all smiles and joy. Then Cid came home in a drunken rage and nothing Axel or Aiden could do would persuade the man to leave the little girl alone. He kept ranting about how she was all grown up now and he was going to make a woman out of her. Aiden, in her defense, tried to stop him. But as drunk as he was the petite woman was out cold on the floor before long and Cid only laughed at Axel while he accosted his daughter. His eyes stayed on Axel all the while Namine screamed and begged for him to stop. Axel could only stare back in horror. But he remembered, every night before he went to sleep, the words Cid had whispered to him as he climbed off Namine and went to his room;_

_"If it isn't you, its her."_

_And every drunken night since, it was Axel._

"..el?...Axel?!" Riku's frantic yell finally broke through Axel's haze of memories. The images shattered and disapated around him like the cascade of water from the showerhead above. Standing, he wiped his eyes and continued scrubbing his skin and hair clean until his entire body burned.

"...I'm fine, Ri. I'll be done soon." Even to Axel his voice sounded weak. Pathetic. Drying off, he exited the shower to find the clothes Cloud had brought for him and a pizza on the table. Cloud wanted to reach for the redhead, to say something to make the pain go away but every time he reached for those cut up wrists or opened his mouth, something stopped him and he looked away. It didn't help that Axel flinched every time someone said his name or came to close.

Axel's eyes settled on the clock. 8:15. Aiden would be home soon..._tick, tick, tick_ Aiden would be home. _Tick tock, tick tock. _Fear welled up in those eyes again as he bolted for the door, leaving a very confused blonde behind as Riku dashed after him.

_Tick tock._An: yay updates!! three in two days! I think. hahaha REVIEW MY LOVELIES!!

* * *

Ulti


	13. I Don't Believe That

_**Chapter Thirteen--- I don't Believe That**_

Axel sped through traffic, ignorant to the pain in his body and traffic signals alike, his fear that when he got home his mother would be dead coursing through him. He prayed and hoped beyond hope that it wasn't too late. Axel had never been the religious type but he begged every God out there let him make it in time.

The house was dark save the kitchen light and all looked still. All seemed well and Axel let the tentative hope that his mother was later than usual. That hope was short lived when he caught sight of his mother with her hands up in defense as Cid advanced on her, his broad fists bearing down on her small frame. As she fell from eyesight, Axel raced into the house, rage welling up inside of him. This wasn't going to happen.

Not this time.

* * *

Cid stared down at the woman he called wife. She was crying on the floor, shaking and bruises already forming. Pathetic. Cid yanked her up by her strawberry blond hair and laughed as she whimpered, grasping his wrist in an effort to make him let go. She'd never learned that he was stronger. That no matter how hard she fought, he would win. Because that's what Cid Highwind did; he took what he needed and disposed of the rest.

"I hate to end things on such bad terms, Aiden, but I think it's for the best." The blonde man laughed again as the tears started up again and Aiden began to beg him incoherently, no doubt for her children's lives.

"Oh don't worry honey, I'll take extra special care of the children. Don't you worry about anything." Cid dropped his wife then, laughing as she hit the floor. His gaze lingered about the kitchen, looking for the _perfect_ way to deal with his little problem. He supposed the kitchen knife would have to do, never mind how overrated it was. Twirling the gleaming object in his hand, he faced Aiden again, relishing the fear in her pretty blue eyes as he advanced on her.

It was then the door burst open.

* * *

Axel froze in the doorway, staring at the scene unfolding before him- The kind of scene that haunted his every nightmare; Cid with the sinister blade in his hand and his beaten mother on the floor, waiting for her life to end. The smirk that sat on Cid's pale lips built up enough rage in Axel's blood to propel him in a frenzy towards his step-father, a scream tearing at his throat and hands outstretched, ready to snatch the knife away.

The attack wasn't expected. Cid had expected Axel to bargain. It was what Axel was good at. Axel wasn't the hero. He didn't have the backbone but here he was fighting Cid, fists swinging and eyes wild with fury as he blindly protected what was left of his family. So unprepared for this was Cid that he dropped the knife. As soon as it connected with the floor, the metallic clink shook his from his stupor and grabbed Axel's raw wrists, squeezing and bending them back until Axel feel to his knees, screaming in pain instead of rage.

"You didn't think you'd win that easily, did you? You've never been able to beat me before and you can't now, you pathetic cum bag. Really, you're more trouble than your worth. I guess I'll just have to get rid of you both. Poor Namine. All alone now."

Realization had never been Axel's friend.

* * *

a.n: ah yes, the shortness. Forgive me. I've had a bit of a dizzying time as of late but never fear! I live and shall continue with my stories!!! Review my lovelies!

Ulti!


	14. This Is The End

_**Chapter Fourteen--- This Is The End**_

Axel had not thought things through any little bit at all. Not only had he rushed in to his mothers defense without any defense of his own, he stupidly forgot about Namine. Namine was truly all by herself now and it was all Axel's fault. It had always been his fault. He knew that now.

Axel fell limply to the floor as Cid's fist hit him again and again. He was used to the pain by now but each hit reminded him of how miserably he had failed to do anything for his family. Axel had never managed to kept his mother safe, he barely kept Namine safe and that safety was flimsy and never,ever certain.

Neither Cid nor Axel heard the door open as Cid reached for the knife again, bringing it up to Axel's neck. Cloud was the first to speak, taking a step towards Axel, a desperate sound of protest echoing from his throat. He stopped short though, as if frozen. Riku and Zexion were behind him, fear in their eyes as their worst fear came to fruition.

"Oh look, you're little boyfriend came to save you. Isn't that sweet. Looks like its just a little late though. Hm...what should we tell people? That you killed your mother and sister from some mental breakdown because of the drugs your boss was giving you? Or that youre lover came in and begged your to run away and abandon your family and in a dellusional meltdown your mother killed Namine and herself? It's not going to matter anyways so I suppose I can have fun with the details." Cid shrugged, pressing the blade to Axels throat, drawing a thin line of blade of blood.

"Is anyone going to buy that bullshit Cid? You know my club's clean and too many of your fine officers frequent the place. Are they going to out themselves for you?" Zexion's eyes were hard and challening now, daring Cid to make a move.

"It doesn't matter. Don't think I haven't done my homework little boy. I have dirt on everyone." A confident smirk sat upon his lips. They didn't have a clue. Cid had been planning this moment for years. And it was all going so well. They made it so easy!!

"No you don't Cid." It was Namine's voice and it was the coldest anyone had ever heard. It was wavering and timid but it was steely. Axel couldn't see her but Cid turned to look. He laughed.

"What are you going to do with that little girl? Do Axel a favor and shoot him, please. You'll make it easier on me. End it for him Namine. Stop being the cause of his suffering. You're the reason he's like this."

"Stop it! That's not true!" Her voice grew weaker, more desperate. Cid could still control her.

"Yes it is. Why do you think he got a job as a whore Nami? Why do you think he sleep with people for money? To help you, to save _you_ girlie. It's all your fault. And you just keep putting him through it. Shoot him Namine. Put him out of the misery you stocked up for him."

"No, stop it!! Shut up!!!" Axel knew she was crying now but he heard the gun cock and he knew Namine had retrived Cid's 45.

"Do it Namine. Do it!! Here, let me help you!" Cid spun Axel around to face the girl, the gun shaking in her hands as she cried, begging Cid to stop. Her eyes squeezed shut and she sobbed.

"Stop it!!"

"Pull the fucking trigger Nami!! Do it!!!" He screamed, wrenching back on Axel's head. Namine opened her eyes and looked at Axel sadly.

"I'm sorry."

She pulled the trigger.

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A.n: enjoi xD cliffies rule!!

Ulti!


	15. Open Wounds

_**Chapter Fifteen---Open Wounds**_

Axel felt his heart hammering against his pale chest. It was that thought that surprised him. Could you feel things when you were dead? Was he in hell? Surely he was after what he'd done. Opening his eyes, Axel realized he was still in the kitchen, still in Cid's crazed hold, still caught between everyone he loved and the man that took it all away from him. Perhaps this was what hell was. Relieving the worst moments of your life, over and over again.

"Axel?" Cloud's voice was soft and better than he'd ever imagined. The blonde looked exhausted though and Axel vaguely wondered if he'd slept at all. Slowly, Cloud came toward him and fear seized Axel again as he fought the stiff hold on his neck. The hold relinquished and there was an thud as Cid fell to the floor. Before Axel could turn and look, realized that Namine had ended everything, Cloud was there beside him, hands in his hair and lips everywhere.

"You're ok...you're ok..." He whispered over and over again. Axel got the feeling it was more for himself than anything else but he was grateful. His arms slipped around the blond as Namine dropped the gun and fell into Axel's lap, holding him tightly. He kissed her forehead and Cloud joined in that too, squeezing them both as Zexion murmured from the other room, no doubt notifying the police.

"It's over Nami, its over now. We're safe." The words seemed unreal. Because for 8 years, nothing had been safe, nothing had been certain and it had most certainly never been _over_. But it was now and for that, Axel would be forever grateful, not matter what came to him in the next life. This life was going to be alright.

* * *

In the months that followed, Axel , Aiden and Nami settled into a new house, afforded by Cid's...savings, in a new town. Axel reveled in the feelings of newness about him. He felt so completely...new. It was like Cid had never happened to him. But sometimes, when he or Namine would wake up screaming at night, or when Aiden flinched when the door slammed, Axel remembered that Cid _did_ happen. Cid had torn his life apart seam by seam. But now, he often reminded himself, it was over. They could restart their lives now.

But they weren't the only ones restarting. Reno and Vincent had rented an apartment in their new city, visiting and such all the time. Axel was rather annoyed by their involvement in his life but he had to admit, Reno was great fun and he really tried hard to be a good father. He and Aiden were good friends and Vincent doted on the small woman like a little sister. It made Axel feel safe going to school or work, knowing she was in the care of people who _loved_ her. Nami had a new school, new friends and she smiled much, more now. Axel found it vaguely ironic that he'd spent most of his life try to protect her, to save her from Cid and in the end, she had saved him. He smiled. That was just fine by him.

Zexion still called every now and again to harass Axel as he began the process of opening another club in Axel's town. Axel was excited about this. For him, Nocturne had been a sort of haven. Even if he didn't like what he did for customers, he loved knowing that being at Nocturne with Xemnas and Zexion meant safety. He looked forward to having that again without having to work there.

Axel had a new job now though. He worked as a server in a restaurant. The very same restaurant that Cloud bartended in. It paid crap, the hours were crap and the food was slightly better than crap but Axel loved every single, boring, mundane minute of it. It was normal. It was safe. It was _good_.

A hand slapped his ass as a tall blonde walked by, turning to wink at him. Axel grinned wickedly. Cloud was very much a part of his new life and his old life and Axel loved him for that. That and because the blonde was nearly as insatiable as he himself was. They were still in the first stages, the first steps to being what they could be _after_. And that was the part that Axel hated. The fact that his life was forever divided into the Before and After. Hated that Cid had so permanently touched and scarred all of them.

Cloud swept by and gave him a gentle kiss before he was off again, calling something over his shoulder about Riku and Fujin. Axel smiled. Shaking his head he made a realization as he headed over to his best friends' table. There would always be Before and After but there was also healing. And in the After, he was changed.

He wasn't shallow. He wasn't empty and he wasn't afraid.

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a.n: There's ONE MORE CHAPTER. I can't believe it. Shallow is almost finished after....*checks* TWO FRICKEN YEARS. I can't believe it. Thank you so much to all the reviewers and readings for sticking with this, reviewing and liking my work.*tear* it means alot!!!! Thank you!!!! *throws cookies to everyone*

This is the second COMPLETE full length story by yours truly and its a wonderful thing!!!!! So, onward with the fiction, onward with the reviews and I hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday time and that everyone clicks that little button in the corner that makes my day! :D 3

Ulti!


	16. Acceptance

**_Chapter Sixteen---Acceptance_**

My name is Axel Prelude.

I guess you could say I'm your average, everyday, ordinary teenager. I hate waking up early, I hate homework and I have college applications that my boyfriend is making me fill out. Not out of the ordinary for an 18 year old kid, right?.

My life, up until recently was relatively boring. Go to school, get in trouble, bail myself out, go to work, rinse and repeat. Except I was a call boy and a damn good one. But I did it so I could get my sister out of the house, out of the reach of my stepfather. I'm not normally a guy who hates other people but truth be told, I hate Cid Highwind with a passion. He's the reason my childhood was never safe, never happy and my teenage years filled with fear. But he's also the reason I met Cloud Faire so, I suppose it evens out; Karma and all that.

I don't think normally your boyfriend is supposed to beat the living daylights out of your stepfather but mine did and I'm ridiculously proud of him for that. He's been there for me through the worst time in my life and for my little sister too and well, I love him. Just don't tell him I said it, his ego's big enough. But Cloud Faire is a huge part of my life, of my family's life now and I wouldn't change anything in my past because my past gave me Cloud. Sappy but true.

Anyways.

They say everything changes. I didn't believe them, whoever 'them' is. But I learned that everything DOES change and not always for the worst like it usually did for me. Sometimes, good things happen. It's a gambling game, life is, and well, I'm a gambling man so I'll take the dice and roll every time. I don't mind pleasant surprises.

I told you from the beginning that you had to know, that I had to make you understand. Without the lies I had so carefully built up over the years. I hope you do. Understand, I mean. I hope you know who I was and what I was, was so my family could be safe, so they could be free of him. And now we are. I just want you understand…_everything_… because it's so different now. _I'm_ different.

Before, it was my mom, Namine and Cid. They were my family. Now it's my mom, Nami, Reno (my real dad) his boyfriend Vincent, Cloud and me. We're a family now. Yea, it's unconventional and maybe a little strange, but I love them. I like our family like this because…well, the alternative was really shitty.

When I'm not at school or at home, I'm working. Now as I've mentioned, I hate school and I've got to say working sucks, but it puts gas in the car. I'm working at Reno's restaurant now. Cloud works there too and I like this. It's safe. It's normal and I love it because of that. Cloud gets on my nerves sometimes though. Mostly because he likes to grope me while I'm working and Reno gets mad because Vincent refuses to do so. He's a very business-y man, Vincent Valentine.

Riku, Demyx and Zexion are still my best friends. They were there at the beginning and they were there at the end and well, there still here. Really, they're fighting over the last pancake at their corner booth. I don't know what I would have done if they hadn't been trying to look out for me and Nami. I don't even really like to think about before.

Because Before I was a self-serving, gorgeous, cocky sonuvabitch that hated everything and had…nothing. After…well, now I'm still a gorgeous, arrogant tool but I'm different. I promise you that; I _am_ different and I have everything.

My name is Axel Prelude and I am finally ordinary.

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THE END

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A.n: Alright duckies, that is THE END of Shallow. Two years to a finish but its complete and I love it. I rather like this last chapter. PLEASE r&r so I know what ya think! Plus, reviews make me happy! :D Ahh, I did good, I didn't kill ayone! Well...ok just one but it was a happy ending! be proud of me! XD

Review lovelies!

Ulti!


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